A Treat for the Feet

I'm always reminded upon obtaining new pairs of socks of just how good new socks feel. No mass has yet been lost to washing, yet you know the socks will never be cleaner. Thick, soft, a delight all around. There was a time when I was disappointed by receiving new socks for Christmas or a birthday, but now I know that the gift of putting on a brand new pair of socks is quite excellent.

One of the most deliciously decadent ideas I've ever heard was two friends wondering what it would cost to wear new socks every day for the rest of one's life. Let's explore. The price for a 6-pack of men's white crew socks from a major online retailer is listed at a sale price of $8.99, and an everyday price of $11.99. Let's average those to approximately $10 per 6-pack, as of the market values of December 2006. There are 365 days per year (not counting leap years), so 365/6 rounds up to 61 packages of socks per year needed. Multiplied by our price of $10, this plan would run the average adult male approximately $610.00 per year.

Now, I know it may be silly to assume that my poor diet, lack of exercise, and generally spotty luck won't kill me by the time I'm 35, but let's for the sake of argument assume I'm going to live out the average American's lifespan. This would mean that I can plan on living to the ripe age of 77.85 years. I am currently approximately 23.79 years of age. This leaves 54.06 years to go. This isn't at all morbid.

Let's bring it all home. With 54.06 years to go, at an expected amount (ignoring inflation rates, of course) of $610.00 per year, to wear brand new socks every day for the rest of my natural life, I would spend approximately $32,976.60 USD. That is the official price of luxury, my friends.